How To Mind Your Own On Social Media

The world we live in now with technology is the CRAZIEST WORLD. Social media is awesome, but social media is also ruining your life. 

When you partake in social media, you are inviting people into your lives and your daily adventures. Well, the glamorous parts, at least. Duh. For example, 

-when I got a new job… everyone knew.

-when I ate a cheeseburger… everyone knew.

-when I got engaged… everyone knew.

So I really struggle with people who are upset when they feel like their lives are no longer private because, well, you’re doing it to yourself… So I started wondering if the reason others felt so entitled to giving opinions about my relationship was because I am so public about my relationship, but then I thought again and said to myself, “NOPE THOSE FOLK ARE JUST SOME NOSEY FOLK.”

Here’s what I mean by that: 

I don’t care if you know who I am dating, where we are going, what we are doing… because it is all in good fun. And I am obviously sharing it with you. “Oh my, look at those two love birds off in Vegas!” “Look at them eating a cheeseburger again for the third time this week!” or “Ugh, *unfriend*.”

BUT when it comes to giving your opinion on how we are loving and why, that is when I get offended.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a certain someone that I had not seen in over a year. I was so excited to see him! After the inevitable hug, the first thing he said was, “Okay, I have to know. Are you getting engaged because you’re pregnant?!”

AND I WAS LIKE WHAT.

“Oh, no! We just… Uh. We fell in love really quick.”

And then I slapped him! Just kidding, I didn’t. But I wanted to.

This is something I have been dealing with for a while now. And by “a while”, I mean “ever since we got engaged”. People have come up to me, said “CONGRATULATIONS! How long have you been dating?” I say, “Two months.” And they look shocked (which is understandable), but then almost all of them have said something like, “Oh, well...I hope that works out for you. Two months is no time at all.”

One time, after someone said that, I replied back, “Well, if it doesn’t work out… I’ll let you say, ‘I TOLD YOU SO!’” That person smiled and said, “I would never say that to you!”

Then why would you say anything at all?

I know I am not the only one who is feeling this kinda way, because I have had many a conversation with my pals about this subject. Let’s all keep our noses on our faces instead of in other people’s business. Sure, with social media, that can be difficult! Everyone has an opinion. Everyone will have an opinion. But you know what they say— “The difference between a cheeseburger and your opinion is that I asked for a cheeseburger.” Do they say that? I do.

I think maybe we should stop expecting everyone’s lives to look like ours. 

Joy Worth Having

It is so, so easy to get wrapped up in things that do not matter. 

We begin to get wrapped up in things that seem so important because of the overwhelming, yet fleeting pleasures that they bring. But how often do we feel like we need to seek more, and more, and more… Nothing is ever enough. We always want more. 

I believe that we were created with a desire to succeed. And we were created by a God who wants us to succeed. But when we are finding our joy in finally getting that promotion, or getting invited to that party, or the compliments from that handsome fella we have been hoping would look our way…nothing ever fully satisfies. 

I desired for so long to work for Disney. When I finally started working at Walt Disney World, I desired nothing more than to work in entertainment. When I began my time in entertainment, I desired nothing more than to make certain “friends”, or dance on that stage, because nothing was ever enough.. You get it. You know. And I do not at all think there is anything wrong with ambition. But God has so much more planned for us than anything we could ever grasp with our own hands. When we are so concerned with getting, we are no longer concerned with His giving.

For the past two years, I have been searching for approval constantly in every human around me. I am so sensitive. I analyze every action by those that surround me, making it almost impossible to form relationships of any kind. I am searching for my value in people, which is no place to find value at all. I have been searching for my value in people, when the One who formed me, the One who thinks I am a precious creation, is beside me every moment of every day. He sings over me. He encourages me with gentle whispers…reminding me of His promises, of His Son, Jesus, who died for Me. He died for me, and I am so concerned with getting asked out on a date. 

I am so focused on myself that it is hard to see past my own insecurities and build relationships with those around me. And to be honest, it has made it even more difficult to focus on the one relationship that truly matters. I have been in a standstill. All I want is to be known, but I am exhausted because I am exerting every ounce of energy into making myself greater. 

I grew up in a Jesus-loving community where I probably heard Psalm 139 at least twice a month. And still, all I want is to be known. I’m just going to leave this here…

“O Lord, You have examined my heart

and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up.

You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.

You see me when I travel

and when I rest at home.

You know everything I do.

You know what I am going to say

even before I say it, Lord.

You go before me and follow me.

You place Your hand of blessing on my head.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too great for me to understand!

I can never escape from Your Spirit!

I can never get away from Your presence!

If I go up to Heaven, You are there; 

if I go down to the grave, You are there.

If I ride the wings of the morning, 

if I dwell by the farthest oceans, 

even there Your hand will guide me,

and Your strength will support me.

I could ask the darkness to hide me

and the light around me to become night—

but even in darkness I cannot hide from You.

To You the night shines as bright as day.

Darkness and light are the same to You.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous— how well I know it. 

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,

as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.

Every day of my life was recorded in Your book.

Every moment was laid out

before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.

They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them;

they outnumber the grains of sand!

And when I wake up,

You are still with me!”

Psalm 139:1-18

YOU MEMORIZE ME!! Are you kidding me?! 

This.

The only time I really write and post is when my heart becomes overwhelmingly heavy. 

Someone recently was taken from this earth at a young age. That happens every moment. But how earth-shattering is it when the person taken from this earth is someone that you knew… When you stare at their smiling face in an old photo, and suddenly, everything that you have been striving for seems so useless. You just sit and stare at a wall and your heart feels frozen. The world seems suspended in time and all you want is to run to your family and friends and hug them for ever.

God, where are You in this? 

When will this all be the way that You planned? 

How should I feel in the meantime? 

Why am I searching and longing for things that will never make me happy? 

I know that You are what my heart truly longs for. 

I know that You are the Love that my heart has been searching for.

God is so powerful. He could have made us into these robots that just did everything “right”. He could have created us so that the only desires in our hearts were to worship Him. We would never know pain. Isn’t that what God wants? 

But we are free.

“God created things which had free will. That means creatures which can go wrong or right. Some people think they can imagine a creature which was free but had no possibility of going wrong, but I can’t. If a thing is free to be good, it is also free to be bad. And free will is what has made evil possible. Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having. A world of automata— of creatures that worked like machines— would hardly be worth creating. The happiness which God designs for His higher creatures is the happiness of being freely, voluntarily united to Him and to each other in a ecstasy of love and delight compared with which the most rapturous love between a man and a woman on this earth is mere milk and water. And for that they’ve got to be free…” C.S. Lewis, The Case for Christianity

There are days when I catch glimpses of the Glory of God. My heart is overwhelmed and even if only for a moment, I am able to see myself and the world around me through the eyes of God. 

There are days when I feel so alone, like I am stuck in a dark fog with not even the slightest desire to find my way out.

Bless the moments that we feel You are nearer. 

I guess this is the journey. 

I also guess writing makes me feel held accountable a little bit. 

I just want to live my best life, 

constantly seeking the Joy worth having.

As I Wait For You

Today, I went to a wedding.

I've been to plenty of weddings, but this one was the most special. This was the first wedding I've attended that was a wedding of a dear friend. Weddings are just different when you truly know the bride and/or groom. I know that weddings typically aren't the time you want to think about the past, but I just couldn't help myself. As I watched my beautiful friend walk down the aisle, I thought to myself, "Wow. If only I could go back in time when we were talking in the car about the #boystruggle and tell her about this moment." She is radiant. She is walking down the aisle to join together with a man who completely adores and respects her (this is something I could see just from the look in his eyes as he saw her for the first time and kept his gaze on her the entire ceremony). She had been waiting for this moment. How often do we look at our friends as they are going through tough times and wish that they could see the treasure that they truly are? We just want to hug them, encourage them, and remind them of God's sovereignty.. But how often do we also forget for ourselves that God is faithful? Oh, how faithful He is. He is beyond faithful. That word to me, at this moment, doesn't even seem fitting from the Love I saw and experienced today. God has so much more for us than we could even dream of.

In my ministry school, we did an exercise where we wrote of a time when God was faithful, and tried to remember all of the details. As I was writing, I was blown away by all of the little "coincidences" I noticed. I encourage you all to think of a moment of God's faithfulness and dwell on it. Notice how it begins to not only stay a moment of God's faithfulness, but a movement. I kept thinking, "Oh, well… this happened. But this happened because of this. And that came about because of that one time three years ago.. which wouldn't have happened if…"And when you focus on the movement of God's never-ending faithfulness, it overwhelms you in the best way.

Of course, your life is not always going to be gummi bears and lightning bugs. Of course it's not. But when you realize that everything happening to you is to make you more Christ-like, then it takes a bit of the weight off. I've said this before and I'll say it again: You can follow your heart, and you will be happy with your life. But when you seek God's heart and allow Him to guide your steps, the paths that you walk on with Him (going before, behind, and with you) will bring such an abundance of joy. A joy that I cannot even fathom but I am catching a glimpse of right now because of a friend who was faithful and waited on the Lord. "Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later." This wedding was saturated in hope, and the glory of God was so unavoidable. It is a precious moment to watch your friend have her prayers fulfilled after dreaming for so long. It is a miracle that God allows us to find that other human that we can dream along with.

I am inspired by my friends. I am honored and humbled that God allows me to catch glimpses of His glory and power each and every day. He is so faithful. And I am so thankful.

I will wait for You, more than the watchmen wait for the morning.

21 Things I've Learned In My 21 Years

1. It is not about you. Let's start it off with an easy (eh) one. Self-explanatory, yet the hardest one to fully grasp and live out. 

2. When someone says that he wants to be with you, he will be with you. [He = he/she. You know.] When a family member, friend, or lover says that he wants to be with you, he will make it happen. You've heard it said that actions speak louder than words. And what you've heard is true. If he cares about you, he will be there. Amen. 

3. If  he cares about you, and he cannot be there physically, he will be there in any other way he knows how. Checking up on you constantly. Calling. Texting. Emailing funny photos. Example: (some of) my sweet Nashville pals continuously stay in contact even if I haven't seen them in over a year. It's like I've never left. And they haven't either. #friendship.

4. Ice cream tastes better when it's raining. It's a proven fact; I have nothing else to say about this subject.

5. People grow and situations change. I was going to say that people change, but I think that people just continuously learn about themselves, which ends up making situations different. Always. You grow. You learn to adapt. And that's life. And it's awesome. 

6. You can learn a whole lotta life lessons from dogs. I personally wouldn't lick someone to pieces as soon as they enter a room, but I find it completely appropriate to bear-hug-jump-tackle someone to the ground (out of love).

7. It's important to start your day with the mindset of "I get to.." You don't really have to do anything. Every day is a beautiful gift, and you should be thankful. Think "I get to.." vs. "I need to.." How cheesy is that? ...but HOW TRUE IS THAT? AM I RIGHT?!

8. People actually do not ask other people on dates anymore. You can be that kid reading this thinking, "Hope! I know plenty of people who ask other people on dates!! Just the other day I messaged a girl--" You can stop right here, buddy. Never in my twenty-one years of living have I been personally approached, in real life, by a man, asking to take me out to dinner. No, I will not go out with you via facebook/text/email message. You can man up and ask me in real life, though. Excuse that wave of tartness that just overtook the keyboard.

9. Christmas really is the most wonderful time of the year. Christmastime genuinely feels like magic. Coffee tastes better, human beings are nicer (unless you're at the mall), and houses are SPARKLY! AND CHRISTMAS MUSIC. AND SWEATERS. Stop. How many days until Christmas? 

10. Hey, maybe if you're allergic to something, you should not eat it. Speaking of Christmas.. Ginger(bread), I love you. I love everything about you: your scent, the way you look all cute when you're shaped like a lil cookie man.. but this just isn't working out. My throat swells up every time I'm around you. If you love something let it go... 

11. Bitterness does not look pretty on anyone. Y'know, that relationship that ended over a year ago? Let it go. Stop talking about it. Move on with your beautiful life and stop drinking that haterade. I was bitter one time after a relationship, and I eventually ended up annoying myself. Soz, y'all. Be the golden person and just forgive, hug it out, and move on. 

12. Guilty pleasures do not exist. They just don't. You like what you like, and there's that. Embrace your weirdness. I don't care if you like reading those Twilight books, as long as you don't mind that I jam out to One Direction really, really hard. Once you truly get to know someone, you find out they're one of the strangest people you've ever met. Everyone is. That doesn't even make sense, but it does. Let's be real: life is way more fun when you talk with random accents and sing every other sentence.

13. Night drives are the best drives. When you need to get away, or sing too loud with crazy arm movements (that look like choreographed dance moves in your head, I know), do it at night. The black sky paired with the white lines is soothing. And no one can see you having your own car concert in the darkness.

14. Life does not end after college. To everyone who told me that "college is the best time of your life", you are wrong. Every day is the best time of my life. I left college a year ago and my life keeps getting better and better. Maybe it has something to do with your outlook. 

15. Nobody has it all figured out. Majority of people use a glamorous spotlight to showcase their life. If you spend your time thinking that you're the only one with problems, you will only focus on your behind-the-scenes. Life is fun. 

16. You should wear sunscreen. You really should. I'm just looking out for your safety, babe. I gotchu.

17. Saving money is easy and worth it. I mean, I know I'm only 21, but I wish I would have grasped this sooner. It's not hard to put a little money aside here and there. Shout out to my boy Dave Ramsey. 

18. Expectations can (and will) shadow reality. Don't try to fit the reality into the box of expectation that your mind has created. Experience, and enjoy. 

19. Flirting is hard, and I don't understand it. I don't. The word "flirt" even makes me laugh. How do you flirt? I mean, I know I do it, but is it just second nature to me? Is that bad? Boys flirt weird. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable because they're so awkward, but I like it. Is that what flirting is? I'm still confused. Does anyone know what your sad winky face means? ;(

20. My parents have always had my best interest at heart. And they are awesome. They're hilarious. Have you met my parents? They are gems. My whole family (grandmas, sister, cousins, etc.) is a blessing, but like...my parents, though. www.thebomb.com 

21. You have a lot more inside of you than you think. "Be strong and courageous." You are an overcomer. When you think you're done, you are actually for sure not. You can keep going. Stretch yourself. Bend yourself to the point of almost breaking, and see where you end up. Life is beautiful when you realize that the God who created the most breathtaking mountains, refreshing breeze, and powerful sun...created you.

This Is Not a Post about Boybands

This is a post about people hating on things that bring joy to others.

What makes a guilty pleasure a guilty pleasure? Because it's "uncool"? I am confused. Who decides what is cool and what's not? Because I know a few people who think that they do..

I have been made fun of for a big bunch of my life for liking boybands.. I don't really understand why people like to pick on me for enjoying myself at a fun show, and I can also assure you that I do not actually think I am going to date a lil boyband boy. I just genuinely enjoy going to shows, and dancing like a loser, and squealing over adorable humans. And snapchatting their musical director what who said that.

This post is not about boybands. It is about me realizing that a lot of people in my life think they are cooler than they really are and like to make fun of me for not being as cool as them. Just kidding. It's about others tearing people down, whether purposefully or not, for liking certain things. I don't make fun of you for liking video games. Even though I think video games are a big waste of time. But you enjoy it. So you do you. And I'm going to do me!

I think a lot of people try to be funny, but end up hurting feelings in the process. Not even just hurting feelings, but crushing souls. That might sound a little ridiculous, but when the people surrounding me continuously dig at me for my "guilty pleasures", it is going to hurt. And I'm going to stop liking what I like. Or try to hide it. Which is really crushing, since that essentially means I am changing myself just because other people don't like me being me. No one deserves to be harassed for liking something that brings them happiness. Ever. It's never, ever going to be funny. Well, maybe the first time. Or second or third. But after the 33 millionth time, it gets a little old.

No one should have to make an excuse for something that brings them joy. If it's not destroying my life, or anyone else's, or disrespecting God, then maybe you should hop off my back a little bit.

BUT CAN I PLEASE GO TO A ONE DIRECTION CONCERT WITHOUT GETTING TEXTS AND TWEETS AND MESSAGES FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS FROM JERKS WHO THNK IT'S FUNNY TO BE JERKS.

...for real, this post is not about me and five precious European boys. It's just inspired by my experiences. Which is why it's my blog I guess, huh.

I guess if you're going to make fun of someone, well...don't. Xxo

What Could You Possibly Know About My Dreams?

"I used to think God guided us by opening and closing doors, but now I know sometimes God wants us to kick some doors down." Bob Goff, my main man.

When you work at Disney World, you are brainwashed into believing dreams always come true. You are encouraged to use your imagination and, in my case, begin to question the difference between fantasy and reality. Your reality essentially becomes a fantasy. At first, I was all, "YO MAGIC THIS IS SO RAD DREAMS WOO HOO YEAH MICKEY AND LOVE AND DOLE WHIPS!" and then, about two months in, I was like, "...so, does it ever get cold here? Is it a requirement for Disney cast members to be handsome? Are people really this happy or am I the only one who has an occasional bad day?" And, if we're being real (which we are 'cos I'm writing a blog, y'all), I started to think the Disney mindset was a big joke. I thought that everything was fake. I felt very limited. I wanted the sun to hide behind the clouds for a while and I wanted to stand outside and freeze to death even though I was in Florida. And I wanted to be pissed about it. I wanted that cute boy with the perfect smile to get a zit JUST ONCE(!!!). I wanted people to be real, but I was in a fantasy world.

God placed a dream in my heart, and that dream was to go back to Nashville. I didn't know how I was going to make that happen, which really begun to wear me down. Life is expensive, and Nashville is expensive, and Belmont is expensive...and that's all I could think about. Every day. Expenses. I spent my time trying to make plans instead of trusting Jesus with my dream (the One who GAVE ME the dream). Face palm. I'm not saying we can just sit back when Jesus gives us a dream, but I was focusing too much on what seemed like barriers of mountains when, in fact, they're simply lil' pebbles when I'm walking with my God.  

I was ready to head back into "reality" until, well...a few days ago. Before that, I only wanted to be back in Nashville with my big-hearted friends hugging each other and drinking coffee and being cold sometimes. A few days ago, my sweet Gammy, momma, and sissy came to visit for a quick, beautiful weekend...and I got to experience the "Disney dream" with my loved ones. Very fortunately, I have been to Disney World at least 73 million times, but this time, it was different. I was watching the faces of people believing in magic for the first time in a long time. I was believing, myself, that dreams really do always come true if we have the courage to follow them. I actually believed it for the first time in a long time. I was watching Beauty and the Beast at Hollywood Studios and Belle said, "What could you possibly know about my dreams?" and I CRIED. I cried for the entire remainder of the show because I am a sentimental bundle of estrogen.

What my homegirl Belle said made me think: what does anyone know about my dreams? They don't. These dreams are between me and Jesus. What kind of dream is an "easy" dream? What kind of dream is a dream you can afford? Where's the trust in that? Where's the FUN in that?! When we follow Jesus, the Giver of our dreams, the Lover of our soul, our trust--our JOY--our relationship with Him flourishes into exactly what He has in mind for us. And what I unfortunately tend to forget is that God, through His mighty power at work within us, is able to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT IS?! Our dreams are nothing compared to the glorious dreams He has dreamed for us.

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders
let me walk upon the waters
wherever You would call me
take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger
in the presence of my Savior

Proverbs 13:12-- "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." I am so thankful that God places dreams in my heart and new mercies every morning to keep me focused on Him and all that He has in store. Finally realizing that the dreams He has given to me will be fulfilled just removes a weight that has been hanging over me far too long. I'll have to work hard to make this happen, but I'll be working with the One who loves and believes in me more than I can fathom. I am beyond excited to be living in Orlando for the next two months, soaking up the "if you can dream it, you can do it" attitude and spending koala tea time with my new friends from all over the world. Jim Elliott once said, "Wherever you are, be all there!" And I will be.

See ya soon, Nashville. Xxo

A Sunday Kind of Love

I think when you're in your twenties, the idea of love becomes overwhelming all of a sudden. Or perhaps, when your heart gets destroyed all of a sudden, love is overwhelming. Maybe love is overwhelming because I spend too much time reading the poems of Pablo Neruda.

Dreaming about a seemingly unrealistic love keeps me hopeful, and focused, 

so I will write.

A Sunday kind of love: a love to last past Saturday night. A Sunday kind of love has been through the chaos and excitement of Friday and Saturday, and craves to stay in bed with you as long as Sunday will allow. A Sunday kind of love is ready to take on the Mondays,Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays with patience and forgiveness. I want a Sunday kind of love that breathes easy and reminds me to do the same. A Sunday kind of love rests on the cool grass and watches the sky change colors in silence that's not quite silence. In the darkest nights, a Sunday kind of love wraps you up when your fears are creeping from under the bed.

The waves crash onto the sand and the salt floats through the thick air onto your vulnerable skin, but a Sunday kind of love mends the cuts. A Sunday kind of love holds tightly to your hand until the world eases its grip. I want a Sunday kind of love that tenderly recollects passionate nights over blueberry pancakes and laughing eyes. A sunrise is nothing in comparison to the compassion that emits from the golden eyes of a Sunday kind of love. When your eyes close from the harshness of the world, a Sunday kind of love encourages you to continue dreaming.

I want a Sunday kind of love that dreams along with me.