What Could You Possibly Know About My Dreams?

"I used to think God guided us by opening and closing doors, but now I know sometimes God wants us to kick some doors down." Bob Goff, my main man.

When you work at Disney World, you are brainwashed into believing dreams always come true. You are encouraged to use your imagination and, in my case, begin to question the difference between fantasy and reality. Your reality essentially becomes a fantasy. At first, I was all, "YO MAGIC THIS IS SO RAD DREAMS WOO HOO YEAH MICKEY AND LOVE AND DOLE WHIPS!" and then, about two months in, I was like, "...so, does it ever get cold here? Is it a requirement for Disney cast members to be handsome? Are people really this happy or am I the only one who has an occasional bad day?" And, if we're being real (which we are 'cos I'm writing a blog, y'all), I started to think the Disney mindset was a big joke. I thought that everything was fake. I felt very limited. I wanted the sun to hide behind the clouds for a while and I wanted to stand outside and freeze to death even though I was in Florida. And I wanted to be pissed about it. I wanted that cute boy with the perfect smile to get a zit JUST ONCE(!!!). I wanted people to be real, but I was in a fantasy world.

God placed a dream in my heart, and that dream was to go back to Nashville. I didn't know how I was going to make that happen, which really begun to wear me down. Life is expensive, and Nashville is expensive, and Belmont is expensive...and that's all I could think about. Every day. Expenses. I spent my time trying to make plans instead of trusting Jesus with my dream (the One who GAVE ME the dream). Face palm. I'm not saying we can just sit back when Jesus gives us a dream, but I was focusing too much on what seemed like barriers of mountains when, in fact, they're simply lil' pebbles when I'm walking with my God.  

I was ready to head back into "reality" until, well...a few days ago. Before that, I only wanted to be back in Nashville with my big-hearted friends hugging each other and drinking coffee and being cold sometimes. A few days ago, my sweet Gammy, momma, and sissy came to visit for a quick, beautiful weekend...and I got to experience the "Disney dream" with my loved ones. Very fortunately, I have been to Disney World at least 73 million times, but this time, it was different. I was watching the faces of people believing in magic for the first time in a long time. I was believing, myself, that dreams really do always come true if we have the courage to follow them. I actually believed it for the first time in a long time. I was watching Beauty and the Beast at Hollywood Studios and Belle said, "What could you possibly know about my dreams?" and I CRIED. I cried for the entire remainder of the show because I am a sentimental bundle of estrogen.

What my homegirl Belle said made me think: what does anyone know about my dreams? They don't. These dreams are between me and Jesus. What kind of dream is an "easy" dream? What kind of dream is a dream you can afford? Where's the trust in that? Where's the FUN in that?! When we follow Jesus, the Giver of our dreams, the Lover of our soul, our trust--our JOY--our relationship with Him flourishes into exactly what He has in mind for us. And what I unfortunately tend to forget is that God, through His mighty power at work within us, is able to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT IS?! Our dreams are nothing compared to the glorious dreams He has dreamed for us.

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders
let me walk upon the waters
wherever You would call me
take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger
in the presence of my Savior

Proverbs 13:12-- "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." I am so thankful that God places dreams in my heart and new mercies every morning to keep me focused on Him and all that He has in store. Finally realizing that the dreams He has given to me will be fulfilled just removes a weight that has been hanging over me far too long. I'll have to work hard to make this happen, but I'll be working with the One who loves and believes in me more than I can fathom. I am beyond excited to be living in Orlando for the next two months, soaking up the "if you can dream it, you can do it" attitude and spending koala tea time with my new friends from all over the world. Jim Elliott once said, "Wherever you are, be all there!" And I will be.

See ya soon, Nashville. Xxo